1.  

  2. channeler:

    HAPPY HALLOWEEN

    (Source: napsandmaps, via zackisontumblr)

     

  3. starkinglyhandsome:

    dollygale:

    captain-raptor:

    best thing i learned working with and learning about kids: when they do shit like this, especially to something they themselves use and enjoy, leave it there for as long as possible. let them return to the fun thing over and over again so that it sinks in that the thing they did was wrong, they ruined something, and now they can’t have fun because of it and they should never do it again. it teaches them consequence of action and cautiousness.

    i did this with a 3-year-old kid i babysat who filled his playstation with peanut butter before i got there, just every time he went back to it and asked why it’s not working, i opened it and pointed to the peanut butter stains and said “you did that” and he says “yeah”, “will it work like that?” “…no”, and when he got it and promised to never put anything but games into a game machine again, his parents bought another and he kept his promise. it works, even at that age.

    this was a long and unnecessary rant but so many times i’ve seen parents IMMEDIATELY replace their kids’ toys/electronics that they destroy over and over again and i’m just like NO THEY’RE NOT LEARNING ANYTHING THAT WAY 

    they also don’t learn from being thrown into fires

    yeah but they’re quieter that way

    (Source: ogtmoreno, via koolaidicecubes)

     


  4. horror movie opening scene

    1. white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
    2. white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
    3. white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
    4. white boy: lmao
    5. they continue walking for a few seconds
    6. *white couple hears noise*
    7. white girl: babe what that??
    8. white boy: i'll go investigate
    9. *leaves her alone*
    10. *choking noises*
    11. white girl: zack!!!
    12. white boy: ha ha just kidding!
    13. white girl: asshole!
    14. white boy: im just playin babe
    15. white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
    16. *playful kiss*
    17. *things turn sexy*
    18. *hear noise*
    19. white boy: i'll go investigate
    20. *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
    21. *maybe a thud*
    22. white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
    23. *she walks and he dead*
    24. white girl: ahhh!!
    25. *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
    26. white girl: ahhh!!!
    27. *white girl runs*
    28. *dead end*
    29. *hides*
    30. *thinks she free n safe*
    31. *guy catches her*
    32. *cuts her*
    33. *she dead*
    34. opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D
     

  5. hattedmistress:

    oneeyedhaise:

    mother i must feed

    Mother, why do you cry?

    (via koolaidicecubes)

     

  6. fuckyoudad69:

    arroyomar:

    Dildo attached to a Buzz Lightyear attached to a traffic light (at North 7th Medical)

    Finally, I see some real art on this website. 10/10.

    (via buttlicked)

     

  7. thescienceofjohnlock:

    dream7790:

    andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

    cas-in-the-sassbutt:

    middleearthkingdom:

    This is pretty much me in the shower

    when you take a shower you turn into gollum?????

    myyyy coNDITIONEERRRRRR

    And when the conditioner gets in my eyes, I screech:

    IT BURNS UUUSSSSSSSSSS

    This turns up on my dash every few days and makes me laugh every time.

    (Source: ponderouspocketwatch, via koolaidicecubes)

     

  8. anactualiguana:

    I’m so fucking funny

     

  9.  

  10. naotakunn:

    i cant believe this. i cant fucking believe this. i meant to send this to my boyfriend but instead i sent it to my boss right after i told her i was quitting all i wanted to do was make an inappropriate cookie joke but no i got mixed up texting two people at once and literally sent a picture of a chocolate chip cookie captioned “ooh she thique” to the fifty year old suburban mother of two of whom i have nothing but a strictly professional relationship with. after knowing me for almost a year and a half as a hard working and respectable employee this is the last thing i will ever say to her i can never go back to that shop again all because of this god damn cookie blunder What have i Done

    (via buttlicked)

     

  11. youwish-youcould:

    bootyscientist:

    "it’s not about race"

    !!!!!!!!!!!!

    (Source: moderndaykathleencleaver, via oomshi)

     

  12. 4lungboy:

    kegelking:

    fuks:

    egg frozen in ice

    Look like a titty

    u ever seen a titty son

    (via socialpenis)

     


  13. nyehs:

    i literally just thought to myself “wow halloween is almost over” but then i remembered that the entire month of october isnt halloween and halloween is actually only one day and hasnt even started yet

    (via hidingbehindperspective)

     


  14. meanplastic:

    psyducked:

    one time my sister walked in on my fingering myself so I told her that I was checking my prostate because I was feeling sick and I was afraid I had cancer and we spent a good 15 minutes hugging each other crying

    image

    (via generalbooty)

     

  15. stubbornjerk:

    that’s the scariest way to hold a phone ever

    (Source: archatlas, via hidingbehindperspective)